How to Help Your Child Start School With Confidence
Simple tips to prepare a young child for their first term, handle tears at drop-off and help them settle in at school.
Starting school is a big step. A new building, new people and long days can feel overwhelming for a four or five year old. A little preparation can make the first weeks calmer for you both.
Talk about school in a positive, honest way
Describe a day at school: the classroom, play time, lunch, the toilets and the teacher’s name. Be honest that it might feel strange at first, and that feeling nervous is normal.
Practise before the first day
- Practise the morning routine so it feels familiar.
- Practise getting dressed, going to the toilet and opening a lunch box.
- Walk or travel to the school together a few times.
- Go to any visit or open days the school offers.
Handle tears at drop-off
Keep goodbyes short, warm and the same each day. A quick hug and a calm smile work better than a long goodbye. Tell your child when you will be back, and be on time.
Many children settle quickly once their parent has gone, so tears at the door do not always mean a bad day. If you are worried, ask the teacher how the morning went.
Keep after-school time gentle
Children are often tired after a school day. Offer a snack and some quiet time before asking about the day. Open questions such as “What made you laugh today?” can work better than “Did you have a good day?”
Use a story to build confidence
Why Am I Starting School? follows Jupe, a young orangutan who does not want to go to school, and shows how the first term can turn out better than he feared. It includes three much-loved children’s songs and a parent’s guide with discussion questions for every chapter.
Where to get more help
Talk to your child’s teacher if you have concerns. Our Support page also lists organisations that offer advice on starting school.
From the Coping with Growing series: modern fairy tales for life’s big moments.